The Feeling of Depression
by WondrousAngst
Summary: Spoilers for Book 3 Finale. One-shot of Korra's inner thoughts on all her experiences and exactly how she feels about them. A monologue of some sorts.
1. Chapter 1

**I had to write this. I couldn't help it. The look in Korra's eyes reminded me of the eyes I once looked at in the mirror. The moment was so tangible, realistic - so ****_relatable _****\- and I just had to write about it.**

**It's kind of like a monologue.**

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**Disclaimer: Legend of Korra is owned by Bryke, Nickelodeon Studios, Viacom, and is animated by Studio Pierrot and Studio Mir. Please support the official release in all its glory.**

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I've been through a lot ever since I came to Republic City. I've fought an anti-bending revolution, an evil relative, the force of all darkness, and [just a few days ago] the four most powerful benders and criminals in the world. I don't expect people to understand what I've gone through, and I don't expect them not to pity my situation. I do, however, expect the people I love most to be there for me. But something is different.

I don't feel like I used to feel. I used to consider myself my own person, as in I didn't refer to myself as the same person as Aang, Roku, or Kyoshi. I knew that well, I really did. But there were times when I doubted if I really was Korra and not the Avatar. I used to just preoccupy myself and think that by doing so, it would take my mind off that particular subject. And it did... It's different now, though.

I know I'm human; that I'm Korra and not just the Avatar. But what I've been through in that dungeon, when I was hallucinating past villains, caused me to realize I just brushed those problems off my shoulder as opposed to actually realizing how hard they really hit me. The Revolution, the Civil War, Vaatu, and the Red Lotus: I hadn't realized how traumatizing those events were until three hours later, after I noticed I couldn't feel my legs. Those dealings hurt me immensely and I didn't pay attention to the consequences.

After I defeated Amon, I put on a smile and told myself I was fine. I lied to myself.

After I defeated Unalaq and Vaatu, I put on a smile and told myself it was going to be just fine. I lied to myself.

After I defeated Zaheer and the Red Lotus, I didn't talk for three days until I figured out why I was feeling the way I am. I'm depressed. I've developed something Tenzin calls _post-traumatic stress disorder_. He said I've been through severely emotionally hurtful events that triggered it, along with the threat of death at hand.

I told myself I was fine so many times and it baffles me that I was able to do so considering the mental and physical anxiety I've been through three times. I've repressed these feelings for so long, and now it's taking a toll on me. It's as if the universe is telling me it's time to give up by putting me through three traumatic events, giving me a major anxiety disorder, and putting me in a wheel chair for spirits knows how long.

But I haven't given up yet and I never will give up. Just because the universe temporarily cripples me, gives me PTSD, and seemingly wants to kill me, I'm in this for the long run. I won't let these circumstances get in the way of me bringing peace, as well as living the life I want to live.

Though as I listen to Tenzin giving his speech, I can't help but think about all the shit I went through. I'm depressed and happy simultaneously, and I don't know why.

This isn't over. I can feel it in my aching bones and sense it in my destroyed mind. Call it Avatar's Intuition, but I can feel something and it makes me feel absolutely miserable.

That's why I couldn't help but slightly lean my head back... and cry.

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**I'm sorry if I made it depressing. But there is no way in hell that someone could have been through that much shit and NOT get PTSD.**

**Tell me how you feel about the Finale in a review.**

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**-TheClaudMaster**


	2. Update 02 17 16

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

_Long time no see, you guys. If you're reading this, that means I'm not dead and you don't hate me. Look, I know I've been MIA for over a year and the truth is I haven't really been motivated all that often. Now that's not to say I haven't been writing, I just haven't been doing so very often mostly due to school and personal matters I'd rather not talk about. I've shirked my responsibility as a writer to not be so hard on myself when the going gets tough, and I sincerely apologize for all the times I said I would update and didn't. It's difficult for me to stay motivated because of all the shit I have to do as a high school junior, and I use the free time I have away from all that to just relax and be the young, naive teenager I am._

_Regarding my stories, I'm planning on rewriting a majority of them. I have an inside man helping me with one of them, so if any of you who still care about a story I've written, PM on this site, message me on tumblr, or simply e-mail me if you want to help me with anything. Links to media are in my profile._

_I'll be posting this message on all of my stories as an author's note and leaving it on my profile, so spread the word if need be._


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